Married Finances

I'm not married yet, so this post is mostly writing out my @#$, but here is the way I envision married finances ( luckily my SO agrees, in theory). When you set-up house and share everything, there is also a tendency to merge the finances. I think it is a bad idea to do a 100% merge. The ideal setup would be 3 accounts, 1 for each person and 1 joint account for shared expenses like housing, bills, groceries etc.

The individual accounts allow each person to retain control over discretionary purchases without getting in their SO's way. For instance, if you want to buy her flowers for a special occasion, you can make the purchase without her being tipped off, and without worrying that she wrote a check or made a debit against that account and didn't tell you ( or him. This blog is non-discriminatory against queers).  This method involves trust in your partner ( which hopefully you have), and while it complicates the overall financial picture, it simplifies each person's small discretionary purchases. If you're both earning income, your paychecks would go to your own accounts and then you would set up an automatic transfer to the joint account.

The joint account, as mentioned above, holds your joint expenses. How much money should you transfer to the joint account? The sum of your monthly bills and maybe a little extra for unexpected situations. How much should each person transfer? Assuming you both earn income, it should be a fair percentage of the total expenses. For example, if you make $4000 a month, and she makes $2000 a month, and your expenses are $2000 total then expenses are 1/3 of your total income, therefore, you each contribute 1/3 of your salary. He transfers $1330 to the joint account, and she transfers $670, so that your total is $2000 and all your expenses are covered. To be fair, the women could totally emasculate you by making the larger income.

If one person doesn't earn income, it's a little more complex. The non-earner should still have some discretionary income available to them, so if you don't mind getting an "allowance" then the system still works. 

Some other advantages of separate accounts: if something happens to one of your accounts ( like my little unplanned expense a few months ago) you have 2 other back ups. Also, if you happen to get divorced, you can more easily separate your finances. I'm sure there are others, but I don't have time right now. I'm interested to hear from the married readers out there on what they think.

Comments

[hank]

Hey Step3, I'll chime in on the post. So I'm married and from day 1 we merged finances; I just gave her access to my account from the start. Do we have money problems? Not really. We're alright and don't have a lot of expenses that come out, but I'm the bill payer, so I need to know what's going in and going out.

I've been married almost 5 years, 2 kids, a mortgage and a car later, we're still good. However I DO hear you point about surprise gifts. We have 2 credit cards for that (which I pay both off at the end of each month).

But yes, I don't think there is a correct or incorrect answer; to each their own depending on how they are with their $.

[Step3]

Thanks for the comment. I guess you really have to find a way that works for you. For me, separate accounts means freedom to make big purchases with out consulting my SO if I save up for them. We each have our own investing and spending strategies as well.